Coming of Age

I’ve always wanted to grow up. There was always something so fascinating about being an adult to me because I loved the idea of things like getting to drive and work, of being independent and having money to buy things. When I was little, I idolized the mere idea of coming of age because I thought one day everything would magically come together and I would live the ideal life, like someone on TV. To my little five-year old self, coming of age meant getting to live the perfect life, own a big house, have a glamourous job, wear makeup, and even own a pet. I realize now that it’s much more complex than that. 

I agree with a point we had during class discussion that went something along the lines of, “...the majority of the change that happens with coming of age is more internal than anything else...” Like we see with Stephen, most of his changes occur within himself; how he sees himself and how he sees himself in relation to the world. He started out quite innocent and inexperienced in mind and body, but then later on his mind and actions get tainted and unchaste. I can relate to this change in perspective and actions, obviously not to the extent at which Stephen took it, but in small changes that I can see in myself. For example, I’ve lost my childish perceptions on vocabulary, in particular, swearing. Now, I hardly ever do this in general, but it isn’t at all the unspeakable act it used to be when I was a kid. When I was little, I was told that the word “stupid” was the foulest thing a human being could say, and I used to call it the “s” word. Now I know that that’s just silly, and I’ve grown up to be more accepting of different aspects of the world, like crude language, although I don’t try to swear.

Another significant point that shows the complexity of this idea was the something else that stood out to me in our coming of age discussion. I can definitely relate to it and it’s the fact that you don’t know when this process is happening to you, but when you reflect upon it, you recognize that you went through changes and aren’t the same person you were two years ago, or even a few months ago. Something small for me would probably be about getting my license six months ago, and the fact that I’ve had to be a lot more responsible. Starting even sophmore year I was still nervous about the idea of driving alone and going places without a family member because I’d never done anything like it before. Now, driving alone isn’t something that makes me uneasy at all, and I enjoy it. I don’t think once in this past year did I think, “Oh my gosh, I am undergoing emotional development on a path leading to adulthood!” I kind of just had to step up and be more independent because I was required to. I just think that it is so amazing how oblivious we can be to something so huge that is happening in our lives. At least for me, I couldn’t tell because these small changes manifested themselves in the small, everyday parts of my day. 

I could go on and on about this, but I’ve come to the conclusion that coming of age is really complicated, not in a bad way, just in a way that makes it hard to come up with a perfect definition that fits everyone. And, like I can see within myself, and we have seen with Stephen Dedalus, it’s also something not entirely visible to the naked idea, but more intrinsic to our souls/ minds.