The End (of Sag Harbor)

This entire semester as a whole has been eye-opening to me because I’ve gotten to truly understand how complicated and even nostalgic coming of age can be. Seeing the seniors having their last day of high school today, and knowing that I’m going to graduating in a year, I found a big connection with the final chapter of Sag Harbor.

For the longest time, elementary school, middle school, and high school served as a constant in my life. I knew where I would be everyday, what I would study, and who I would go to school with. I didn’t really consider my life past high school very much at all. Benji’s comment during the Sag Harbor Hills Labor Day Party stuck out to me because it articulates my perspectives of life until recently. “We plotted and we planned and next year came around and we were in the same place. Old reliable,” (Whitehead 259). I never stopped to wonder about the bigger picture, but always focused on the small, day-to-day things. I feel that here, older Ben(ji) is coming to the same realization that I am, which is that as children we had this continuous sense of dependability, but it isn’t going to last forever.

Going along with this idea, something else that Benji mentioned that stood out to me was when he starts noticing new kids at the Labor Day Party, and sees younger versions of himself and his friends in them. “There was this new gang of kids, boys and girls I hadn’t seen all summer. Where did they come from, acting like they owned the street? As if these were not our races they were running...Our replacements,” (Whitehead 261). The tone of this quote is almost indignant and nostalgic. My interpretation of what the author’s trying to say from this is that life keeps going, and I have to say that I completely agree. Every once in a while, I’ll look at the underclassmen roaming the halls and I can’t stop thinking, “That was me three, four years ago.” It’s kind of shocking to realize that you’ve devoted so many years to Uni and that while their Uni career is starting, yours is also ending. It’s liberating to know that you are almost done and can start a new part of your life where you’ll be (presumably) more mature and independent, but it’s also sad because you know that what you’ve gotten used to is almost over.

Lastly, this chapter isn’t all melancholy, and I want to point out that Whitehead also makes this chapter, specifically towards the end, very optimistic. “I thought about school. I had a week to get a new plan together. I had to get some new records. I needed new clothes, too. I was definitely more together than I was at the start of the summer. It was going to be a great year. I was sure of it,” (Whitehead 272, 273). Benji in this quote is ready to start a new chapter of his life, and he’s mentally and emotionally prepared for it. Like him, I’m also super excited to become more of an adult/ come of age. I honestly do want to try to reinvent myself and try something new when I graduate. As much as I’ll miss those five years of my life, I know that there’s so much more out there that I’ll be able to see and do.  

Overall, coming of age can be sentimental. Benji in this last chapter experiences a wistful view of his past, but also an eagerness for the future. I can understand his point of view; on the one half, you want to grow up and be independent for once, but at the same time you also miss everything that you’ve already known. Part of growing up is realizing that things aren’t going to stay the same, and accepting that. Overall, coming of age is going to be difficult and prove to be nostalgic at times, but I’m prepared for it, and I’m excited to see where it takes me.

The Ending Of Black Swan Green

Black Swan Green was a book that I wouldn’t have ever picked up had it not taken this class, and I honestly have to say that I loved it. I was sad to have finally completed it because it was remarkably interesting and compelling, but having finished it I have to say that I’m conflicted by the last chapter/ ending of the novel.

First of all, I have to say that loved the ending as a whole. David Mitchell tied everything up together very smoothly and left out very little in terms of loose ends. The first thing that comes to mind when I say this is the backstory of the old lady in the first chapter, his family dynamic, and even Ross Wilcox. Mitchell really demonstrating that Jason has reached an internal resolution towards the end of the novel and is ready for a new chapter in his life, no pun intended. Another aspect of the ending that I enjoyed was the spot in Jason’s life where the book ended. I think it was an ideal moment to stop the novel because it’s during a transitional moment in Jason’s life. He feels more confident with who he is as a person after having overcome his a lot of his insecurities that spanned a large part of the book, and he’s going to move and start a new life elsewhere. It seems the best, most logical place with which to stop without having to the emergence of any other underlying themes. Also, I think that the book’s closure leaves the reader with a sense that Jason is going to be okay emotionally and that he’s really now fully immersed in his coming of age. He’s a little broken up about his family’s situation, but his sister tells him that he needs to be strong and that that things’ll get better.

Going along with all of this (and contradicting myself slightly) I also have to say that I simultaneously felt like the ending was lacking. Mainly the issues I have with it are really just preferential, and are the same issues that I have with basically every book I read. One thing I wanted to nit pick on what that I would have liked to have had the book end a little while after he starts his new life outside of Black Swan Green. Although it seems logical to end at that moment in Jason’s life, like I mentioned, I’m also curious to see how that self-confidence in the book extends to his new life outside of his native town, the only place he’s really known. Will he reinvent himself? Will he get picked on? Jason is such a compelling character, and there’s a part of me that is always going to wonder how Jason’s life unfolds. We’ve been discussing in class really thoroughly how big of an impact this year has been with him in terms of the whole coming of age processes of finding and being more comfortable in his own skin, and I wanted to see where that takes him. It’s just kind of difficult to end there when you are very engaged in the story and you know there’s going to be so much more that’s going to happen.

So that’s my little rant about the final chapter of this book. Overall, I thought it was fantastic because the author does a great job of making Jason’s story seem authentic, and the little moments where I get “annoyed” with the novel are just due to me wishing the author would add  a bit more to the novel.

Goose Fair

A chapter that I thought was really thought provoking was the Goose Fair where Jason was deciding whether or not to keep Ross Wilcox’s wallet. It was a really good scene, especially the beginning and towards the end, to consider when we are thinking about coming of age and different aspects of Jason Taylor’s character as he’s put into such an intense scenario for someone that age. I ended the scene really liking Jason even more as a character.

At first, when I read that Jason was taking the wallet, I have to say that I was really disappointed with him. Jason has had to go through a lot of crap with Ross, I’m not denying that, but what I honestly love about him as a character is that he has such a good moral compass. Seeing that he was resorting to revenge like that made me disillusioned with him because I felt like he had lowered himself to Ross Wilcox’s level. “The prosecution (a) pointed out it wasn't my money and (b) considered the panic Ross Wilcox’d feel when he lost all this money. The defense produced (a) the dissected mouse head in my pencil case, (b) the drawings of me eating my dick on blackboards, and (c) the never ending Hey Maggot? How’s the s-s-s-sssssspeech therapy going, Maggot?” (Mitchell 242). He had understandable reasons for doing what he did, but I still don’t think that revenge is the best way to handle any situation. Jason wants to have control over Ross for the first time in his life, and he thinks that after all the crap that he’s been put through, he deserves at least that much. I’m conflicted here because  I want Jason to have control of the situation for once, but I was also really wanting Jason to give the wallet back to his bully to come out the better person. I was slightly worried because the author made it seem as though he had made up his mind to keep the money, regardless of Ross’s intense agitation at not having recovered it, and that didn’t seem very Jason-like to me. The book up to this point had built up how good he was as a person, and I didn’t want to see that aspect of him fall apart because of how some jerk was treating him.  At the same time, I part of me also feel bad for Ross. He kind of deserves the temporary agitation at the fair for what he’s made a lot of kids go through, but it’s in this chapter that we get to learn about his terrible family dynamic that causes him to lash out violently towards others. He’s a product of his environment, and to a certain degree (I’m not completely justifying his actions) it’s not his fault.

I would have to say that the resolution for this chapter was really satisfying for me in terms of seeing Jason’s character evolve for the better. This chapter was just a really great example of how Jason’s coming of age is helping to enforcing moral principles and further develop his sense of sympathy towards. Even though Wilcox is a major ass to him all the time, Jason ends up giving him the wallet back because he doesn’t want Ross to go thru anymore anguish with Mr. Wilcox. He also realizes that he feels bad for Ross, and that they are both just scared kids at time, Jason with his bullies and Ross with his dad. It kind of goes to show that even in tough situations, Jason still cares about others and tries to make the right decision with them mind. At the end of the day, he doesn’t let people or situations affect the way he handles situations. I think that it’s these moments that really define a person, the small acts that show you peoples true selves, and Jason really comes out of this experience a better person.